Myself - Ruby Loveday


Mandy

 


Mr Loveday

RUBY LOVEDAYS DIARY

Please note that the views of Ms Loveday are not necessarily the views of the website. Ms Loveday chooses to email us anonymously and we respect her wishes.

  • Dear all,

You can’t stop progress, one can only imagine the scenes of outrage and demonstration in 1782 as yet another planning application went in to ‘yea old Rottingdean district council’ another blot on the landscape, a towering windmill. Those mercenary millers had a cheek - turn your back for a minute and they had knocked up another one without so much as a by your leave.

What I do express my concern over is frail old ladies manning stalls on dusty streets. Canvassing for signatures and peddling cut price jam and tomato plants to pay for legal action (hope its not the infamous Rottingdean jam featured in Junes diary)

Also I was shocked to see immaculately penned graffiti plastered in 4 foot high white lettering proclaiming, ‘stop the blot’ Mr. Loveday nearly got rammed up the backside as he slowed down to read it on the final stretch of road into Saltdean

As I said I'm one for progress I was most disappointed to find out that the building works opposite st Dunstans is simply work on the sewage pipes. I had so hoped it would be a new Sainsbury’s.

I love the Grand Ocean Hotel , and I have stood by them and fiercely protect them as I would a dear friend .I’m sorry but I will not hear a bad word. Any hotel that is as welcoming to local residents as they are, supplying generous prizes to our pre-schools has my support

All I’m saying is if a inspector came to my house unannounced and got on to her hands and knees and started to poke about under my fridge I’m sure she would come up with damming evidence to suggest the love day premises was less than pristine. I think that is universally true. Well, except for that woman my daughter has told me about that lives in Oakland’s who bleaches her floors nightly before bed.

The following poem by an unknown author is especially for her and the lady health inspector

DUST IF YOU MUST:

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better

To paint a picture? Write a letter?

Bake a cake? Plant a seed? ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must but there’s not much time,

With rivers to swim and mountains to climb

Music to hear and books to read

Friends to cherish, a life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the worlds out there

The sun in your eyes and the wind in your hair

A flurry of snow a shower of rain

This day will not come round again

Dust if you must, but bear in mind

Old age will come and it’s not kind

And when you go as go you must

You yourself will make more dust


Much love, Ruby see you at the (Rottingdean fair on Saturday)

  • Dear Friends,

The buzz word around Saltdean is ‘sustainability’ there are recycling points on every corner with some local residents even proffering local community recycle bins on there own front lawns

Well in the old days in Saltdean we did all that sort of thing automatically we grew our own and shared out bread and cakes when we did a big bake and we gave each other cuttings . I'm glad to see the community spirit is still with us. I'm not one myself for waste and do my bit for recycling so when Mr. Loveday suggested a new shag pile for the lounge off we went to carpet right in Newhaven for a nice bit of roll end im always up for a bargain the thing is I have not got used to metric yet so when the huge rolls of carpet are on offer and all taped up I can't tell what the dickens they are in length I got that nice man to cut and unroll about 7 rolls before I saw the sign it said to all fitters would you please discard your remnants in to the skip in the yard behind oh I thought that would be recycling so I thanked him for his help and got Mr. Loveday to drive me up the rear well there were all sorts shag piles to axminster I had a good poke round before choosing a nice length off wool Berber I got back in the skoda and told Mr. Loveday which one to drag out it was only a bit damp up one side and the cat spay smell would go with a bit of vanish .The man protested but he did get out of the car and had a couple of runs at the ramp it was then he spotted our young man the one that was so helpful in the shop he was having a Coffee break he spotted Mr. Loveday day and was laughing and waving Mr. Loveday came back to the car with out the carpet, and said he was embarrassed. I ask you! some men have got no guts about them now that would have been sustainability

Much love Ruby

  • Dear All

I did feel sorry for the ex proprietor at the Rottingdean tea rooms , my old friend June Whitfield did it in her TV commercials in the 80s and now it seems the tea rooms have been caught out! recently pleading guilty to ‘three offences relating to jams and lemon curds’ ‘an investigation by trading standards showed that products were being described as ‘home made’ when in fact they were not’ ,, oh love! I did feel for them .I have never been caught out myself and Mr. Loveday has no idea. So im taking this opportunity to come clean - I myself have on occasion bought a large tin of catering sized marmalade. Available infrequently from the discount shop in Peacehaven (only slightly out of date ) I have decanted the thick cut marmalade in to smaller jars, slapped a fancy Ruby label on the front and finished with a paisley print mop cap effect a la women’s institute. Not that I am suggesting that any such fraudulent activity goes on at their Friday morning get together I just love their work and regularly cast an envious eye over the amazing cross-stitching and handy work for sale I have often had to hold back when it comes to taking home sets of coordinating toilet roll covers and tea cozies. Amazing needle work ladies .Also the pies and pastries kept warm on heat retaining pads are ‘to die for’ ‘a moment on the lips, a life time on hips’ I could pass them of as being my own, especially with them being kept warm. He wouldn’t know, but they never stay in the bags long enough to get through the ‘Loveday front door’ ‘.Its enough to make a dishonest women of you!’

Much love Ruby

  • Thursday April 10th

I'm just about sick of these so called boffins in Saltdean. You can't move for them. I've attended 2 quiz nights in Saltdean recently with the full expectation of a clean win .Only to be bamboozled in to 4th and 5th place . im not accusing any local dignitaries of cheating but Ruby does have eagle eyes and I could see boffin over sized ears turning toward the rubilites team table in expectation when a showbusiness or soap opera questions was posed .The trouble is, there are just too many doctors or professors of 'this that and the other' knocking about Saltdean, and they are always on the opposing team. Even with my weighty knowledge of horticulture and local affairs my superb team ,'the rubelites' didn't get a look in. And that first prize hamper looked so appetizing. I like to support local events .As we all do especially if its something for the kiddies. We are a law unto are selves in Saltdean a 'world within a world' if you like whilst the planet is 'going through a difficult time' (for I shall not name it )and every where you look is anti *** slogans our local graffiti relates heavily to dogs muck, why only last week Mr Loveday and myself were on the undercliff with the grandchildren and I counted 4 individual rabid chalkings of a dog poo hater. Well I ask you ,there I was trying to work up an appetite for afternoon lunch at the White Horse but I just kept imagining great steaming piles of it, and I kept getting the whole party to check the underside of shoes .Well we took the overland route home and would you believe it, there it was again. Some half soaped Saltdean boffin has decided to twin Rottingdean with 'dodge city' the official sign was there hanging below the tasteful portrait of the windmill and hills. I bet that will turn up as a quiz question at the next fundraiser. When we got back, it was stuck all around the back tyre and spokes of my granddaughters bike, and her first trip out without the stabilisers .....
you draw it to you, that's what I think.

See you all at the St Martins Easter Fayre on the 12th (I have herd they are giving away cloth bags with every purchase)

much love Ruby

  • Friday January 25th

dear all, my major concern is, will the asylum seekers be privey to the daily nine o'clock bingo? and, will they be able to enjoy the talent filled shows those super blue coats put on?one must only think that winning 'a line' will be the most exciting experience of a asylum seekers life and seeing a live show - a saltdean 'feast for the eyes'.

Yours, Ruby

  • Friday January 12th

Mr Loveday and myself saw in the new year at the Ocean Hotel with the help of a few local friends, a welcoming place it has become. I have it on good authority from the manager himself that all Saltdean residents of good behaviour are most welcome (as long as we don't use their penny arcade or take part in the nine o'clock bingo). I was pleased that she was keen to quash some vicious rumours about us residents being shunned which simply isn't true (I'm glad) because Mr Loveday were sure we weren't allowed in to see their nightly shows, and every time we ventured there, I was in a different outfit and cat with no coat so they though we were holidaying in one of their exquisite rooms. I did get cold with only a cardi thrown over my shoulders and it was all to no avail because most of the lovely blue coats or red coats or whatever they are called, all know me by name . Poor Mr Loveday - he has no idea of the level of my celebrity.

So talking of the Ocean, they have been having a huge vermin problem of late, pigeons that is! They've been aroostin in the rafters, causing a nuisance with messing and flapping in the hotel grounds, and the hotel has had to put up some mesh to stop the birdies resting on the ledgers. Eagle -eyed as ever, I was walking down to the gift shop last week when I spotted one of the porkly pigeons in distress, wings in a total flap, caught in the mesh while three of his little friends pecking madly trying to get him out. Shame. I had a brainwave and used my super new mobile phone to call Mr Loveday. I asked him to come instantly and bring the ladders. Well do you know. He didn't the miserable so and so, I had to go into the gift shop, buy a pen and call directory enquiries for the RSPCA. They only had an answer machine so I called the reception and the hotel. I didn't want to go in and they might think I was one of those animal activists, especially as we are regulars there.

The reception couldn't have been more helpful and apparently this wasn't the first time that a pigeon or two had sought refuge on the roof and sills at the hotel and they had been having some problems. I was assured a member of maintenance would get right onto it. I put on a warm coat and sat on the wall opposite (outside the old folks place) and sure enough out came a boiler suited maintenance man to free the trapped bird. What a moment it was! Well I'm all for giving them another star.

Stop Press: I was driving by on Sunday 12th January at 10.55 am and Ruby couldn't believe her eyes. Dubbed in foot high paint on the front wall of the aforementioned hotel was 'No Alysum (sic) here'. Well who could have done it. Not the hotel, surely not a distinguished guest, not a local respectable resident. No me thinks a pigeon!

Much love , Ruby

  • Ruby's Christmas message

Is it just me or do there seem to be a lot of incidents in Saltdean at the moment?

In the last week or two in my jaunts around the dean I've seen a JCB minidigger in that drainage ditch they've been digging on Saltdean vale, three men were trying in vain to pull it out and a mummy size digger had to come to pull out the mini. Then there was the camper van overturned on the coast road, just at the top of Longridge Avenue, bedding and clothes strewn all over the place, then there was the stressed mother who reversed her mini metro through a garden wall perimeter, completely smashing down 12 feet of brick work! I'd love to have been a fly on the wall to witness that one as well as those little domestics - I've seen the sea rescue helicopters once or twice and talking of casting your eyes heavenly, please tell me if Ruby Loveday is going bonkers, but has anyone else seen those strange lights in the sky above the Tye recently? I have seen two white lights move very fast next to each other, much faster than a helicopter or a plane. I've seen them twice and both times they were only there for a couple of seconds and then gone. Oh well - 'tis the season to see a bright light in the sky I suppose.

Congratulations to all the shop keepers in Saltdean. Every one has made such an effort with the windows and if I was giving out prizes the gold would go to the Martlets Charity shop for 'ice queen'. What a revelation and all done with donated goods and cellophane, I have it on good authority that they have their own window dresser who is a retired professional. I did congratulate them on the 'festive feast for the eyes' however, I couldn't help overhearing one grumpy customer mumble 'it's for buying not looking at'. There's humbug to match Mr Loveday.

I was so hoping the new Chinese sit down restaurant would be open Christmas. I've seen the decor - jade green and pink - I do wish they would get a move on with it. Longridge Avenue isn't the same since that Indian restaurant closed down.

Updating you on my granddaughter Mandy's impending legal action with a major high street retailer over her unnecessary frisking, I am afraid talks have collapsed. Mandy's letter of complaint was returned to her as the major retailer hasn't paid for their freepost PO Box complaint address, and when she phoned to complain she was told that a label stuck to a child's shoe wouldn't have set off the alarm and she MUST have had a security tag about her person. I ask you! It's just not worth it. People say we are living in a culture of compensation but my Mandy hasn't had much luck. I on the other hand have!!!...But that is another story.

See you all at the Telscombe Fireworks on the 19th.

Much love and good will to
all who live in Saltdean,

Ruby

  • Monday October 28th

Oh shame on me, oh shame on me. I'm in one of those 'complaining moods' and I'm in danger of turning into Saltdean's answer to Victor Meldrew I must admit I as one of those 'angry of Saltdean' residents that wrote into the Argus up in arms about our badgers. Mr Loveday was not so in favour of my having to returf the lawn every Spring because of unwanted 'padding about' but that is his department, and as the signs on the top of Longridge Avenue say 'they were her before us' although Mr Loveday is getting on a bit. I made my presence felt at the 'badger Rally', as did many a local celebrity and potential government electees. Yes we all love our stripy friends - and didn't they sit up and take notice!!

But I must tell you that something terrible happened to my granddaughter who shall remain nameless in the circumstances but who lives in Lustrells Crescent. I will call her 'Mandy' for the purpose of this column.' Mandy' likes to take her custom in to town. I have always told her to shop locally, we all know we can get everything we need within spitting distance in saltdean, but she will insist on traipsing into 'Churchill Square' every Saturday laden with a massive pram and my 2 lovely great-grandchildren. Well, you'll never guess what happened to her - the poor love was accused of shoplifting! Yes a granddaughter of mine caught! in a well known ladies clothing store. Of course the whole thing was a terrible misunderstanding as it turns out. Great-grandchild number 1 had a reduced sticker under her trainer which set off alarm bells, an assistant then approached 'Mandy' who accused my granddaughter of having an unpaid for item about her person, namely a belt. It was true that 'Mandy' had tried a couple on for size, but I can assure you that she discarded them back to the bargain palette from whence they first came. She did indeed have a belt on, but one which belonged to the current skirt that she was wearing about her person that day! (Sorry to go into police speak) the assistant then not happy that Mandy had not taken an item with out paying for it started to sweep her hand down the back of my granddaughters skirt (Mandy I do hope your waisters were clean). Well of course they found nothing but my poor granddaughter was mortified embarrassed and couldn't get out of there quick enough. Of course when she got home I swiftly put pen to paper on her behalf and I will keep you informed as to the amount of compensation or recompense we receive.

I was in that type of mod. Take no nonsense and give no slack, so when Mr Loveday came home with our regular take-away from Longridge Avenue and I thought it a little expensive at £17 I wasted no time in telephoning in I took my calculator and added up the cost of our meal - £13. I'm sorry but wool will not be pulled over the eyes of this customer, I'm not some young thing to be played with. The take-away manager was soon begging apologies and told me that Mr Loveday could please come in to collect the outstanding £4.00. It just shows you what can be accomplished by the power of the pen and a stern voice on the telephone.

I was 'chomping at the bit' to tell Mr Loveday to collect his take-away blunder money 'but Mrs Loveday' he replied 'I told you it was £13 the meal. I never said it as £17'. Needless to say Mr Loveday didn't turn up to collect our phantom £4 and well done to the take-away for agreeing that the customer is always right. I shall be keeping my dialling finger on my halfpenny in future.

Yours as always, Ruby

  • Monday August 29th

The visual feast of the year takes place annually on the second Saturday every August - the Peacehaven Horticultural Association puts on it's yearly show. Not just flowers are judged but vegetables, crafts, jams and flapjacks. Mr Loveday and myself are friends of the association, mostly in the hope of putting in a successful bid for produce at the end of show auction.
It was a lovely show by anyone's standards. The dahlias in particular caught my eye with 'blooms as big as human heads'. I has assurances from the club treasurer that they would be sold to the highest bidder after the proceedings and that the usual bidding could rise to the lofty sum of £1.50.

I stood armed with my fiver, willing and able to spend the lot. Huge bunches of prize winning blooms were passing through hands and being distributed amongst the lady bidders (in quite an orderly fashion). It seemed only fair that I should wait my turn and when I thought that everyone had had a bid and got a bunch I started my bidding only to be knocked down by a large lady standing near (who I couldn't help noticing had already secured five bouquets in a co-op trolley). 'Here Colin' she said ' take a pound for the next lot' I couldn't believe it as he accepted and I threw her one of my looks. She still went ahead with the same trick again, with the next lot - a prize winning lot of crysanths. Well that was the limit! I had to say something... 'Excuse me' I chipped in 'I will give you five pounds fir these' the cheek of it but the auctioneer wouldn't have it and accepted the large lady's pound. Insider trading I call it.
So I went away with only a sad bunch of herbs that no-one wanted for 25p and some runny third prize jam.
Cant wait until next year

Yours, Ruby

A recent photo of Mr Loveday for your interest

  • Saturday August 5th

Has anyone noticed that sign on a house at the top of Longridge Avenue 'Lost Cockatiel' - well back to that in a minute.

I always take the opportunity of a homemade cake at the Meridian Centre coffee morning, as well as going to the supermarket it's a good opportunity to network with our fellow community groups. Scones and bacon sarnies of of a varying degree of quality, some of the best being supplied by the Peacehaven Residents Association. I had a nibble and a cuppa, and a quick nose thorough the Residents Association newsletter with the usual collection of dogs muck and Portobello stories and a small piece took my eye - 'Lost and Found - an aviary bird has been found, please contact our Secretary Jean'. I carefully highlighted the piece and made my way to Longridge Avenue where I got Mr Loveday to push the newsletter hopefully through the letterbox. Of course the missing bird family had long given up hope of being reunited with the little fellow but I felt sure that I had found the wandering bid.

Soon after I got home the bird man called me to inform me that an identification parade was taking place that night and I would be the first to know if it had been a success. My dialing finger was poised on the redial button and with the Evening Argus number programmed in I was only hours away from securing a front page special, oh what joy another exclusive for Ruby Loveday.

Alas the bird in question was a parakeet not a Cockatiel (if only those Peacehaven Residents had not been so vague in their writings!)

Yours as always, Ruby

  • Monday July 29th

It's always a pleasure to bump into old friends so what joy when I found my good old thespian girlfriend Dora Bryan was to open the St Dunstan's Annual Fayre. She bought her two Himalayan mountain dogs with her (they certainly left their mark on the podium). Dora officially declared the Fayre open and left the gathering stunned into silence when she pronounced the Fayre open and then launched into a speech about taking care of the animals. She was prompted into remembering that this was indeed a do for the blind folks, but she dug herself in even deeper by proclaiming that blindness was a most unworthy cause and a serious matter. She did correct herself however and then went onto entertain us with a lovely poem about how children ought to be named after they are grown up. Dora let us into the secret of her success which she emphasized was CONCENTRATION.

Dora is currently to be seen in the Last of the Summer Wine.

Much love, Ruby

  • Tuesday July 16th

First came the morning markets, then the travelling cinema, but nothing in the history of Peacehaven has touched the Meridian community hall with such talent and entertainment as last weekends ballet spectacular 'The Selfish Giant'. The Oscar Wilde story was performed by the dancers of the Saltdean Academy of Dancing. There were two performances, the matinee was particularly well attended by a mostly captive audience of mums, sisters and weeping grandmas and reluctant dads. The audience were surprised at the pure professionalism and grace of the show that had all but the most hard hearted non-relative in tears. I had come well prepared with my roll of soft velvet toilet tissue and pillow from home as the seating arrangements down the Meridian do incline one to sweat and imprint a wet v shape when arising for the interval. The cakes and refreshments were well worth waiting for, and homemade - non of your Mr Kipling Fancies there. The mums all outshone each other in there desire to help in the kitchen and in the confusion I got charged twice for my flapjack - not to worry - all in a good cause and with tickets at £5 a head the Saltdean Academy must have covered expenses nicely.

My only criticism of this event would be that we didn't have the pleasure of seeing the lovely Miss Richards receive her bouquet as there was some discrepancy over the curtain pulling arrangements. We can only imagine the look of delight on her face as she acknowledged her greatest success. The little darlings were seen leaving by the back stage entrance closely guarded by Miss Richards senior who was seen to take firm control over costume retrieval.

What wonderful events will I be able to attend next week I wonder?

Regards, Ruby

  • Monday July 15th

Hello all - Ruby here!

Just thought I'd keep you up to speed about my weekend activities. On Saturday I went to the Gala Day down at the Oval. Great fun was had by all and I loved the old cars. My dear friend Doreen did point out however that during the 'fun dog show' she was rather shocked to see all the dogs in a circle nose to rear so to speak. My other friend Lily was also quite disappointed that there was no race for 'older ladies', and she did say that she reckoned she could have shown a few of those mums a thing or two! The speed at which she used to dodge the HP man, I believe she could be right.

Anyway must sign off - I am baby-sitting for my daughter tonight as she goes to Saltdean Primary's last PTA meeting of the year - down the pub!

Yours always, Ruby